February 13, 2012

Married to the Military Monday-The Other Wives

It's been a while since I have written a Married to the Military post. Today I want to chat about the "other wives." Recently, someone mentioned to another military spouse, that they were going to make people believe the stereotype of military wives...that they we are all " lazy, dramatic bitches with no life!" Now, excuse that ugly little curse word up there, but that is what she said. I have heard that some people perceive military spouses as certain things, but that is one I haven't heard any of us being labeled as before. As I think about it, I suppose I could recall that some people have heard that we are lazy...that we sit home and do nothing all day as our spouses work. Though, I suppose any stay at home wife could be labeled as lazy. For instance, at the doctor this morning, I was asked if I work. I replied, "I don't work outside the home." The technician replied while looking down an immediately writing, "So, you're a homemaker?" Well, okay...I'm not opposed to being titled a homemaker. I am opposed to that implying that I do nothing all day. I not only work from home, computer-based, et cetera; I also keep house and homeschool. Once the technician heard me talking to someone about homeschooling, she stopped, got wide-eyed, and responded, "Wow! You homeschool?" " I wouldn't have the patience for that!" It's a big job! It's a responsibility that I don't take lightly. It is also a privilege...a big one. I know I am lucky to be able to do the things I do.

Now, back to that big, ugly, stereo-typical label up there... ^ You haven't forgotten about that either, have you? When I first heard that, I was a little shocked...I say a little because I have heard such things before...just not that in particular. I suppose that there are many labels we could stick on military spouses, but the worst part about that one, is that it was more than likely created by the spouse herself. While this was being said, there was a lot of drama going on. There is a group that was started for military only. Most of the wives in this group thought that we were all military spouses (because we were all suppose to be,) so we did share a bit of information amongst each other. Mind you that none of us were breaking OPSEC, but merely talking about what our husband's do in the military. Unfortunately, it was recently brought to our attention that some of the wives had been allowing spouses into the group that are not associated with the military. This immediately divided the group. Not only did it divide the group, but it caused a great bit of drama and stress. There was much bickering back in forth, and even name calling. A few of the spouses began telling many of us that we have a problem with civilians...we dislike civilians, we think they're bad, evil people...and a number of other things that has to do with that. It was nothing of that nature, and we all tried to tell these spouses that. We just thought were all spouses, and felt upset when we found out we had been sharing personal things that we would have only shared with military spouses. I felt betrayed, but mostly because they were telling me things about myself that weren't true...I never said that I dislike civilians, and that wasn't a nice thing to say...That was said to many of us.

So, back to that ugly statement up there...^ Yeah...that was said to me...and it doesn't hurt me...I know that there are stereotypes out there...but, many of them are created by the person that thinks they're being labeled by others. Yes, military spouses can be full of drama...just check out this post on the FRG...I don't stay away from FRG all together...I give it a try first...and, if it's full of drama...or even half-full for that matter...I stay away from there. I prefer a group of people, or even a nice few that will be there when I need to talk about how I'm doing while the man of the house is away, or how the children are making it through the deployment. It would be nice to know that if I'm at home with a sick child, that someone will call on the way to the store and ask if I would like them to pick up anything for me...There are many more things I could say about this topic...and I more than likely will talk about it again the future. I am really interested in hearing some of your thoughts on this subject. Feel free to let me know what you think.

That's all for this week's edition of Married to the Military Monday...Enjoy your week!


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